A while back, after a particularly brutal CrossFit workout, I was struggling to put away my big, heavy wooden box after doing 100 or so box jumps. This nice gentleman who was technically a stranger to me, but that I had been working out with for over a year, came over and offered his help. I immediately turned his offer down, proclaiming, “thanks, I’ve got it!”
Right before my eyes, I watched this man wither. And besides feeling like a total jerk, it set off a chain reaction that has lead to my own reconsideration about how I interact with the male species.
The truth is I was struggling. I was exhausted, having spent my very last bit of energy on the workout. I would have LOVED to have someone put my box away for me. So why did I reflexively, without even thinking about it, deny his totally innocent offer of help?
There are a few things at play here, but the main thing is that I was running an unconscious program – or living in my story – that if I accept anything (a drink, dinner, an open door, box putting away services) I will then owe him something. Probably some type fo sex. And I didn’t want to be in his debt. And that’s just irrational.
There are no doubt predatory males out there looking to trap women into doing things she doesn’t want to do for his own gratification. But I’m convinced that the vast majority of them, just want to be helpful.
The problem is, we always find what we are looking for. If we are conditioned to be on the lookout for male predation, that’s what we’ll see. Even if it’s not there.
Besides me making my life a lot harder than it needed to be that morning, I also completely robbed him of an opportunity to serve.
The masculine is hardwired to protect and provide. It is their nature. This is necessary for obvious evolutionary and physiological reasons. The feminine is programmed to receive. But feminism and a culture that denies the value of femininity has convinced women that they must be masculine to get anywhere in life. And for her to need a man is weakness.
This is madness. We need each other. And the world needs women (who know how to embody the feminine) now like never before. There’s nothing more feminine than for a woman to allow a man to protect her and provide for her (without projecting her own beliefs that he’s out to get something from her that she doesn’t want to give).
Women are exhausted, overwhelmed and facing burnout like never before. Mostly because we are trying to do too much. We are quick to blame men for not showing up, but are we creating the space for them to do so? Our lives can be so much easier (and more fun and exciting) if we could just embrace our design and free men up to function in theirs.
So the next time a man offers to open your door or put away your CrossFit box, show him appreciation instead of dismissal. I know I will. He gets to be masculine (protect and provide) and you get to be feminine (receptivity) and everyone’s a winner.
Learning how to embody feminine power is one of our primary objectives at our live events. We have another coming up soon and would love to have you join us. You can get all the details and register here: http://risetoreign.live/events
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