Modern culture has damaged gender polarity and our image of God. If you are to heal your heart, then you need to start with your gender identity. Amy Killingsworth tackles gender polarity and what it means when it comes to our spiritual life. She discusses the two poles of gender, its effect on attraction and intimacy, and why both genders are important for a healthy society. Follow this episode for a great look at gender identity and how it relates to your image of God.
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Gender Polarity And The Image Of God
In this episode, we’re talking about polarity. It is a spectrum between masculinity and femininity. Do you know where you naturally lie on that spectrum? Do you know how to embody the qualities that are natural to your identity? Read on and find out. Remember that God wants you healed so you can wholeheartedly live your purpose and love your life.
This episode is on polarity. On the one hand, I’m excited about this episode because I get super passionate and excited about this topic. It is the one thing that makes people come alive when they understand this and get this. It has the greatest potential for life change. When you embrace the side of the pole that you are meant to be on. It’s like coming home to yourself. I’ve seen this happen over again and I love it. On the other hand, it is an area where angels fear to tread. Part of me doesn’t want to touch it. It has so much potential for offense and shame but hopefully by now if you have been following along with me and reading, you have made the commitment to not throw your shame off with blame, not be offended and keep an open mind. That’s all that I ask of you as I go through this. You and I do not have to agree and I celebrate you wherever you’re at. You are so loved and valuable. Nothing that I say is ever intended to shame you because I love you. I want the best for you, the healing of your heart and the world, this is something that has to be addressed.
The King Or Queen Inside Of You
In Rise to Reign language, when we do the integrity module in our live events, there’s a section that I did not cover in the show and it’s called I Will Not Stand With You in A Lie. This is when we take a stand for somebody else’s higher self. When we can see that they’re living far below what is true about them and their higher self and the queen or king inside of them, we call that higher self out, king and queen out. The vernacular we give that is, “I will not stand with you in a lie.” This is me. Maybe not standing with you in a lie. Maybe you’ve believed some lies about your polarity, gender and identity as a male or a female.Your gender expression or your sexuality is at the core of your identity. It's at the core of who you are. Click To Tweet
This show is hopefully going to shed some clarity on that. We can still be friends, I can still love you and you can still love me. If nothing else, it’ll give you something to think about. Maybe plant some seeds for later. With that being said, let’s get started.
Defining Gender Polarity
Let’s define polarity. Polarity is the possession or manifestation of two opposing attributes, tendencies or principles. In the case of gender polarity, we’re talking about masculine and feminine.
These are the opposite sides of the poles. I want you to imagine the Earth. There’s the North Pole and the South Pole. They’re completely opposite. You can be all the way at the North Pole, South pole or somewhere anywhere in between but there is a place that’s called the equator where you cross from one to the other, from South to North or North to South. Anytime up until you get to the equator, you are in that pole, in the south region. When you cross over then you’re in the other region. You can be deeper into the region all the way up to the end which is the other spectrum of the pole.
I want you to think of polarity as the masculine pole. Let me call that the South Pole and the North Pole which is femininity. You’re somewhere on that spectrum. Every human is. There’s something important to understand about polarity and that is it’s an interplay with attraction or what we would call chemistry. When you fall in love, super attracted to someone or what we say we have great chemistry with somebody, that always has to do with polarity.
The further apart you are on the poles is directly related to how attracted you are to the other person. The farther you are into femininity and he is into masculinity, the stronger the attraction is going to be. As you move closer, you can be close friends. You can love people with familial love but you’re not going to have that attraction. The closer you get together on the poles to the center, the degree of attraction diminishes. Conversely, the further away you move from each other, attraction increases. I don’t mean away from each other in the distance. I mean, away from each other in polarity. Super feminine is going to be attracted to really masculine. That’s polarity and attraction.
Gender Polarity, Identity, And The Image Of God
Let’s also talk about polarity and identity. This is where it gets a little bit dicey. Your gender expression or your sexuality is at the core of your identity and who you are. There’s a scripture Genesis 1:27 says, “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him. Male and female, he created them.” God’s not male or female. He’s both. The reason we say he is not because he’s a boy but because he’s often referred to in the Bible as the father. However, there are many passages where there are feminine attributes applied to God and where he is also referred to as a mother-type character.
God is both, equally both, not male and not female, not a boy or a girl. He’s a spirit. In order to fully express the image and the nature of God, we have to have both male and female. It’s really important. God isn’t a gender. He doesn’t have polarity. He is a perfect blend of masculine and feminine. The male and the female, the masculine and the feminine together completely express the image of God. The masculine by itself does not express fully the image of God and neither does the feminine. It’s important as we move on.
Have you ever considered the odds that the amount of boys versus girls that are born into the world is almost exactly half and half? I would love somebody to do some type of statistician to do the Math on what the odds of that happening by a random combination of genes and DNA for the genders of all babies born into the world to be exactly half and half. It’s not crazy. It’s extremely intentional. There’s nothing random in the universe. God gives everyone something but he doesn’t give anyone everything. We’re each a piece of the puzzle.An attack on gender is an attack on the image of God. Click To Tweet
As a woman, I need a man to fully express the image of God. I am not saying that I am incomplete without a man or I can’t be fully expressed without a man. I’m saying that without the masculine influence in my life whether that be a father, son or friend, the community is incomplete. The expression of God for a community to fully express the image and the nature of God, we need both the masculine and the feminine. That’s the one thing that’s leftover from the garden of Eden. It’s a healthy, romantic relationship between a masculine man and a feminine woman is exciting and desirable to most people because it’s the full expression of the image of God in that one relationship. Most of us desire to have that counterpart because we want to have the other piece of the puzzle to fully express the image and the likeness of God. We need both mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, both male and female to fully express the image of God.
I can’t stress that enough. We need men and women in churches and companies. We need an equal balance of masculine and feminine roughly equal to fully express the image of God. We need that in a family and organizations. An attack on gender is an attack on the image of God. Anything that diminishes femininity or feminine qualities diminishes the image and the likeness of God and vice versa. We’ve got this whole business about toxic masculinity going on in our culture right now. Anything that attacks masculinity is an attack on the image, nature and likeness of God.
If you follow that all the way through to its results, you can see exactly the source of it. It’s darkness. It’s the entity and the system that hates God and hates natural law that wants to attack gender and diminish people based on their gender identity. Males and females are exactly equal in importance, worthiness, gifted, goodness and everything else. One’s not better, not more important and not more worthy. It’s important to understand that.
The Masculine And Feminine Shadows
In another episode, I’m going to get into what are masculine and feminine qualities then what are the masculine and feminine shadow. Meaning, how does the feminine show up when it’s healed, whole and healthy as the queen. How does it show up when it’s the slave, princess or prisoner? Vice versa, how does a masculine show up when it’s healed and whole as the king versus how it shows up in the shadow or the unhealed, the wounded masculine which is the prisoner, slave and prince?
Even though we’re equally as important, gifted and worthy, we’re very different. This is where people start to get offended because there’s an agenda that wants to homogenize gender and not put labels on it and not create paradigms or descriptions. That is an attack on gender which is an attack on the image and nature of God. To fully express your identity, you need to know who you are. You can’t know who you are without understanding what end of the pole you occupy.
Have you ever noticed that there’s been an obvious push in media entertainment and popular culture to vilify masculinity in men and encourage masculinity in women? To vilify masculinity in men or make fun of it and to encourage masculinity in women, I’ll get to that in a minute when we talk about modern feminism. There is a cultural perception that feminine qualities like nurture and intuition are less valuable than masculine qualities like strategy and execution whereas men are vilified for being masculine which is being strategic, aggressive and want to make stuff happen, build, create and to have an effect on the world. That’s very masculine.
Those things are vilified in men but glorified in women with feminism. Why is that? Have you ever asked why that is? In order to be healthy, we need to as women, as feminine persons, address, identify and embrace our femininity. Those qualities like intuition and nurture are every bit as valuable and needed. In fact, a culture, company, family and church without the feminine influence are very profoundly unhealthy and vice versa, a fatherless culture without the influence, protection, provision, direction and strategy of masculinity is profoundly unhealthy. We need both.
Every human has both masculine and feminine qualities. We need to have those. At your core, there’s a place where you’re at home. As a woman, I have to access masculine qualities to get out of bed and even get moving in the morning. If you’re all feminine then you’re basically like a hurricane. You’re chaotic, have no direction, not contained and you are over the edge in pleasure and beauty. You have nothing to contain that, move it in a direction and channel that into something useful. You have to be able to access masculine qualities as a female and a feminine person. It’s like going on vacation. You need to know how to go there and enjoy it for what it is and utilize it but you need to know how to come home. You need to love sleeping in your own bed and come home to your femininity. You need to be able to embrace that, embody it, occupy your femininity and step into masculine qualities when you need them but come home and live, breathe and exist in your femininity. I’m going to cover it in a separate show in a lot more detail.
The same with men. Men need to be able to access feminine qualities to have relationships. Otherwise, they would be all hunting, gathering, building companies and wouldn’t be able to connect, love and have relationships. I’ll get into this a lot deeper but I want to drive home the point that you have a core and a home. Even though you need to be able to access and master certain qualities that are not at your home, where you’re not at home, you need to always know how to come back to and live in your home.
As a culture, we have pushed men away from masculinity and lost the strength of masculinity as a result. I’m going to get to this deeper when I do the show on masculinity. Have you ever asked yourself why? Why do we seek to make men more feminine and make women more masculine? What forces are at work? I like the idea of feminism in that it’s the idea that women are equal to men but modern feminism has done more to destroy femininity and masculinity than about anything else in my opinion. Don’t get me wrong. I believe women should lead, in high-level leadership positions, workforce, government and be in ministry in equal amounts. Remember, we need both genders to express adequately or completely the image of God.
Where feminism is concerned, I’m not talking necessarily about rights or equal pay for women. I’m talking about this idea that women have to become more masculine and take over masculine roles because rather than celebrating feminine qualities, modern feminism has devalued femininity and sought to exalt masculine qualities. In women, that’s a problem. Feminism looks down on masculine qualities in men but exalts them and women. We’re going to talk about it more when we take these parts, leaves out, talk specifically and separately about masculinity and femininity.
Gender Roles And Influence
Modern feminism exalts those masculine attributes in women and devalues them in men. They also seek to usurp masculine roles. When I say roles, I’m not coming from the perspective that judges should be men or that a certain gender should fill a certain position, job or vocation but there are specific roles that we play that we will not be happy or fulfilled unless we play them from our home. I’m being a little bit obtuse here because I’m going to get into it in detail and unpack it individually for femininity and masculinity but when I say roles, I’m not talking about vocation. I’m talking about women bringing their feminine gifts to the workplace, family and especially to their relationships. Men being encouraged and celebrated for doing the same thing. A family or an organization is healthy when we have both operating from their home as what they are as it would be inside matching the outside. Integrity ties into this as well.
Gender confusion is a big thing. I want to be careful here because I do not want to put any shame, guilt or offense on you. I don’t want you to pick up offense off of this. Hear me out. Gender confusion is such a big deal right now. It didn’t use to be. I don’t believe for a second that it was a big deal but nobody felt comfortable talking about it. It’s a big deal because culture promotes gender confusion and culture promotes this idea that gender is fluid and that you decide what gender you are. Nothing could be further than the truth and a more significant attack on the image of God that humans carry.
I know that that’s a strong position. There’s a lot of people struggling and suffering but I personally won’t stand with you or culture in a lie because as much as some people might want to hear that this is okay and that it’s normal, it isn’t. It is an attack at the very essence of who a person is and that needs to be healed. People who don’t know who they are are easy to control, manipulate and lie to. If you don’t know one of the most basic things about you and your identity, which is what gender you are then you are easy to be controlled, manipulate and be lied to.
You have to ask yourself who benefits from that. If you back it all the way up, look at entertainment and different cultural offerings. See how gender confusion and gender fluidity have evolved and how it has gained strength over time, what’s driving it? When we were talking about earlier how masculine men are few and far between, in the past, masculine men were what protected a society. The warriors culturally were necessary to keep the bad guys from invading, raping and pillaging the village. If we don’t have masculine men as a culture and a society, we are vulnerable but equally is true is that if we don’t have feminine women as a society. We are very vulnerable. A society of masculine men without a feminine influence gets weird and dangerous fast.
We need both to adequately and completely express the full image of God as humans. We’ll dig deeper into this but I want to leave you with a question. If gender confusion is an attack on your identity and if you don’t know who you are, you’re easy to control, manipulate and be lied to. That the fluidity of gender, whereas there are no masculine men and feminine women, it puts society at serious risk. Who might benefit from that? Could it be people or groups of people who want to confuse and create chaos for the purpose of controlling, manipulating and enslaving humanity? Is it possible?
Think about that, who benefits and what is the logical outcome of destroying the concepts of masculine men and feminine women, strong masculinity and femininity? Let’s look at these separately. That’s coming up in the next two episodes of the show. That’s it for this episode. Thank you so much for being with me. I hope we’re still friends, more on this to come and thank you so much for reading. I’ll see you at the next one.
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Are you a Prisoner or a Queen? (or something in between)
The four archetypes help you distinguish between your true identity and how you might react in times of stress or out of unhealed wounds. Your identity is defined as: a) The condition of being a certain person and/or b) the characteristics by which a person is known. How do you see yourself? How do others see you? Who does God say you are? By understanding the prisoner, slave, princess (prince) and Queen (King), you can be intentional about choosing to show up as your true self and stepping away from patterns of dysfunction.
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