Episode 5: Are Blame, Shame or Toxic People Ruining Your Life?

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Did you know there is one very specific thing that keeps us stuck more than anything else?  We all do it- consciously or subconsciously.  It stunts our growth.  It’s sneaky, it’s toxic and prevents us from thriving and rocking our relationships. It muddies our dreams and blocks us from pursuing our mission and calling.  It holds us back from reaching our greatest potential.

It’s blame!  We spend so much time and energy deciding who is to blame.  It’s our default- we see a problem and we ask “who’s to blame for this?”. We throw it off onto someone or something else and don’t take responsibility for it.  Meanwhile the problem continues to fester and nothing gets resolved.  It hurts others and hurts us in the long run.  We are so habituated to blaming that many times we don’t even realize we are doing it.  The solution to this is something I came up with that has really helped me in my life called the responsibility reset:

Reality+ blame= fault

Reality- blame= responsibility

Using this formula is a great way to become more aware, of noticing when we are triggered into blame and it gives us a tool to reel us back in and take responsibility so that we can shift the energetic track we find ourselves on.  The people in your life that agitate, irritate and cause heartache are there to strengthen you, to help you grow and to teach you how to live in your highest self.  Things are happening FOR you, not TO you and if we can take a moment to pause, and rather than shift into blame, take responsibility it gives you the tools and the grace to open up to the myriad opportunities the universe is offering. You don’t get to that place until you rid yourself of blame.  The way to do this is to RISE, to take responsibility, to be the QUEEN.  The queen has no limitations, the queen does not judge, does not blame and takes responsibility even if it is not her fault!

One of the best tools that I use is a prayer of forgiveness and responsibility.

It is the Ho’oponopono prayer:

I’m sorry

Please forgive me

Thank you

I love you

You aren’t apologizing for someone else’s mistakes or choices but you are apologizing for your part (taking responsibility) in judging them.  You judged them as anything else other than the divine perfection each one of us is. Saying this prayer to yourself is taking responsibility for your part- as small as it may be.  I know it can be hard to do but, in the face of injustice, I am convinced, if you can take responsibility, your energy frees up to find a solution.  This, my friends, allows you to take back your power and life a life without limits.   

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Are you a Prisoner or a Queen? (or something in between)

The four archetypes help you distinguish between your true identity and how you might react in times of stress or out of unhealed wounds. Your identity is defined as: a) The condition of being a certain person and/or b) the characteristics by which a person is known. How do you see yourself? How do others see you? Who does God say you are? By understanding the prisoner, slave, princess (prince) and Queen (King), you can be intentional about choosing to show up as your true self and stepping away from patterns of dysfunction.

Copy of Roadmap to Rise (2)

You were born to reign. But you have to know who you are first. In this free download, I explain the four Rise to Reign Archetypes (Prisoner, Slave, Princess & Queen). Self awareness creates the ability to shift in the direction of your wildest dreams instead of your worst fears.