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Episode 10: Is Venting Ruining Your Relationships?

In Rise to Reign we work on reconnecting to our authentic selves so that we can have, be and do all that we were created for.   Something that drives us in the opposite direction of this is venting.  We all do this at one time or another but when we complain and vent to others it drives us further into the abyss that is not our true selves.  It may feel good in the moment but it wreaks ruin, decay and destruction. 

In this episode I share a snippet of one of our Rise to Reign Live events to bring this issue to light using real examples. There are a few ways we manage feelings- suppression, or pushing our feelings aside being the most common way we handle our feelings.  Consciously or unconsciously, we jam them, along with the trauma or experience they are attached to, into the toxic tank which festers and rots, overflows and leaks into our environment.

Another way we manage feelings is by way of expression which can be described as unhealed wounds projected out to the universe.  It comes in the form of venting, gossip, complaining and let’s enough pressure out giving you the illusion that it has been dealt with and neutralized.  In the process you throw your grievances and toxicity onto others to carry. Expression is a form of defensiveness which is an attack on those around you. You unload some of this energy onto others and it actually gives the feeling greater energy because what you focus on expands.  With this illusion that you have dealt with it, you end up suppressing the rest and projecting it out onto others in your life and damaging relationships. 

The first step to rise out of this toxic behavior is taking responsibility followed by forgiveness which is acknowledgement and asking to see it from a different perspective.  When you have done your work around it- let it come up and out and worked through it, then, when you can  show up undefended and authentic, share with a friend or loved one how it made you feel and what it triggered without involving them. This way you connect heart to heart in a loving way not in a toxic way. 

 If you happen to be on the receiving end of expression you can gracefully and lovingly excuse yourself from that situation.  It’s dark energy, toxic and will contaminate you if you don’t. We have a saying in Rise to Reign that says “I will not stand with you in a lie”. You stand for YOUR higher self, you stand for your FRIEND’S higher self.  Only by living in the truth and being a witness to others’ authenticity can we heal and change the world.

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